Yeah, yeah, you’ve heard the advice—lean in, lean in!

But do you ever think, that’s just so much flipping work…?

Hughhhhh… (exhausted sigh.)

Maybe you’re a working mom, juggling the “double shift”—no, wait, probably the triple shift: working a long day, coming home to care for your family, and then logging in a few more hours at night. Or maybe you’re balancing putting in hours while paying your dues, studying for professional development tests… and then going out multiple times a week to check your networking box.

I just got so exhausted writing this, I had to take a break.

But now I’m back… with the second way I see women get lost in the crowd and slow down their career growth.

I see a lot of exhausted women come through Build Yourself Workshop… and I see many decline to take it because they feel they just don’t have the time.

But I’ve also seen women break through.

I’ve seen the busy business owner take the time upfront to hire a project manager—it felt like she’d never make the time to hire—but once she did, it took less time than expected and allowed her to show up at 100% for high-level clients.

I’ve seen a working mother get a promotion—and still go home in time to be with her daughter. And she even had time to craft. To CRAFT? What working mother you know has time to craft?

So what’s the secret? These women are working smarter, not harder.

They Drop Some Balls

Are you a perfectionist? Perfectionism may have gotten you here—showing you’re dependable and responsible—but it won’t get you further. The problem with perfectionism and workaholism is that we tell ourselves we’re getting it all done—but that’s a lie. Late-night work comes off your next morning.

That fabulous crafting go-getter doesn’t attend every meeting for her project. She asks others to report back on key decisions. She took herself off social media—gave the finger to FOMO—and won her evenings back at home.

A leading architecture firm principal told me that women often get stuck mid-career because they can’t accept that they’ll never get to the bottom of their to-do list. To be a leader, you have to triage every day—that’s the new normal, not being behind.

They Get Comfortable with Power

When’s the last time you felt comfortable telling someone what to do? Women often grow up without many examples of women in power, so it can feel unnatural to embody it when given the chance.

When I first started working with subcontractors, I found it uncomfortable to give assignments. I softened my words, avoided delegating tasks, and sometimes did the work myself—even when it was their job. This hindered them and me. People wanted me to do my job—to tell them what I needed done.

They Stop Doing Their Last Job

When women grow in their careers, they stop doing the work they used to do. If they’re promoted into management, they don’t try to manage others while also doing their old tasks. But perfectionism can make women hang on to old responsibilities out of fear that things will fall apart.

The truth? Sometimes things will fall apart. Managing others is about training them to do a good job and being there to work it through when things fail. This empowers others to grow, and over time, ensures things don’t fail the same way twice.