Finding your dream role isn’t about luck or having fewer constraints—it’s about clarity, strategy, and courage. In this article, Maya Sharfi shares her proven 4-step process to help women identify what they truly want from their careers, overcome the fears that keep them stuck, and move confidently toward their dream role.

Why Finding Your Dream Role Feels So Hard 

Are you compelled by the idea of having a dream role out there — but not sure it really exists for you? 

When it comes to finding your dream role, most high-achieving women leaders know what they want deep down—but they also run into a whole set of fears and hesitations that keep them stuck. 

Maybe you’re worried that the role you want isn’t available where you live. 

Or maybe you worry that doing what you want would require taking a pay cut. Maybe you worry you don’t have the right transferable skills to do what you want—or that someone would look at your résumé and not see the right things.

Maybe you fear you’d have to go back to school to get the job you want. 

These are all common fears—and they can linger for years, holding you back from making a change. In fact, it’s common to stay in the wrong role for years simply because of these worries.  In fact, only 30% of women aged 25-35 report currently working in their dream jobs, meaning 7 out of 10 women are settling for roles that don’t truly fulfill them.

We tell ourselves these are immutable truths—and therefore, we just have to settle for what we have. Having a “dream job” feels like something lucky people get to have—or people with fewer constraints. 

But finding your dream job is more achievable than you think. You just need a systematic,  design-thinking approach to identify what that role is for you—and to break through the barriers. 

In the first step of my Career Accelerator, I give my clients a 1:1 Strategy Session to identify their right next role—and move past those barriers. 

Here’s the step-by-step process we use. 

Step 1: Identify What You Truly Desire in Your Career

The first part of our process is getting crystal clear on what you actually want from your career. Do you crave autonomy to make your own decisions? Flexibility to pick up your kids from school? More analytical work or more people-focused tasks? 

Sometimes we aren’t even fully aware of these desires until we lay them out—either because we haven’t pinpointed exactly what we want, or because we’re afraid we can’t have it. 

After working with hundreds of clients and identifying the forms their desires often take, I developed a framework called the Four Zones of Career Alignment to help women pinpoint with precision what they want from their careers.

This step is like identifying the raw ingredients we’ll use to choose what “meal” we’re going to make—your ideal role. 

We also identify the strengths and transferable skills you’re most interested in leveraging, which helps us pinpoint the roles that would be the best fit for you. 

Step 2: Identify Potential Roles That Align with Your Goals

Once we’re clear on the specific goals you want your career to deliver—the kinds of topics you want to work on, the skills you want to use, the salary level you want, the flexibility you need—we can identify one or more roles that meet all (or most) of your career desires. 

This is where creative thinking comes in. Finding the right role isn’t always straightforward. For example, one of my clients wanted to move out of fintech and into a more creative field. 

We identified that she could move into a creative agency and specialize in serving fintech clients. She’d still get to use her expertise but have more creative colleagues day-to-day. And because she could leverage her existing relationships to bring clients into her new company, she was able to command a higher salary and a more senior title. 

This kind ofcreative design thinking is my specialty, given my background in design thinking. I’m always seeing roles that align with a client’s strengths and interests in ways they may not have imagined—or creative ways to reposition their experience to create new opportunities. 

Step 3: Identify and Categorize the Hesitations Holding You Back

Once we start to get clear on your desires—and what potential solutions might be—it’s natural for your fears and hesitations to show up. 

We categorize them into different buckets so we can address them effectively. 

1. Beliefs About the Job Market or Industry 

These are assumptions about the job market, like: 

● “No one hires people my age for this role.” 

● “Big companies are bureaucratic.” 

● “It’s a bad time to look for a job.” 

● “They don’t promote women into that role.” 

These beliefs seem valid—they’re often based on societal norms or narratives—but they’re not universal truths. 

As soon as we poke holes in them, we can ask ourselves: Do I really want to be held back by this story? Or do I want to see what’s possible when I try? 

For example, I had a client in her 60s who had been let go from several jobs and began to believe she’d aged out of the job market. While ageism is real, it’s not a law of the universe. Within six weeks of working together, she landed her first offer for a great new job. 

2. Self-Limiting Beliefs About Your Abilities and Skills 

It’s been proven that women often underestimate their capabilities more than men do—and it keeps us from applying for roles or promotions that feel like a stretch. 

A lot of the time, we don’t even realize this kind of self-doubt is operating until someone points it out (which is exactly what I do as a coach). 

For example, I had a client who kept finding herself unfulfilled and bored in roles. What she didn’t realize was that, because she’d pivoted into tech from another field, she had a self-narrative that she was “behind” everyone else. As a result, she kept applying to jobs she was overqualified for. 

Once I pointed that out, I challenged her to apply for three jobs she felt underqualified for. She did, and she landed one of them. It was the first job in her tech career that she felt truly fulfilled in. 

3. Trade-Off Thinking 

Sometimes you believe you can’t have it all—like meaningful, purpose-driven work and a high salary. 

When we’re clear on your career desires, we can challenge that assumption and find creative ways to have both.

For example, I had a client who wanted to maintain her salary but do more creative work. We restructured her positioning to focus on a specific emerging area of innovation—and she was promoted within a few months. 

4. Worrying You Won’t Like It 

This one is sneaky—it comes up both in choosing the right role and once you’re out in the world getting it. 

Our brains don’t like uncertainty or change. So when we contemplate moving into a new industry or taking on a stretch promotion, our brains often try to protect us by convincing us we won’t like it: 

• “That industry is probably just as toxic as mine.” 
• “There’s going to be too much pressure, and I don’t need that in my life.” 

There are ways to gut-check a new role or industry before committing—and ways to job craft (see below) to make a role an even better fit. But ultimately, no matter how much “data” we gather to mitigate risk, our brains will always find reasons not to change. 

We just need to notice that fear—and ask: Do I want to keep staying stuck where I am? Or am I willing to take a chance on something better? 

Step 4: Go Out and Find (or Create) Your Role 

Our brains tell us, “That job just isn’t out there.” But in my Career Accelerator, we have a few tricks up our sleeves. 

Use Authentic Networking to Find (Or Create) Job Opportunities

A huge percentage of senior leadership roles are filled through networks. When you connect authentically, you can learn about opportunities before they’re even posted. 

You can influence how jobs are scoped and shaped—because you’re in the conversation early. You can even get roles created for your unique skills and interests. 

For example, one of my clients learned about a role at a large tech company before the job description was even written. I guided her to reach out when she received a competing offer—and they decided to hire her first, without ever posting the job publicly. 

Another client was invited to write her own job description at a new company—she literally stepped into a leadership-level role she’d created herself. 

Use Job Crafting to Tailor and Tweak Your Role 

“Job crafting” is the art of reinterpreting your role to align with what you most want to do—or what most supports your life.

For example, one client landed an amazing role in an industry she loved but wanted to do more socially impactful work. We developed a nonprofit board service strategy that allowed her to make more social impact and strengthen her reputation in her industry. 

We also have more agency in our roles than we think. 

When I work with clients on may, they often assume they have to leave their industries or companies. But especially in leadership roles, we often have significant control over how we do our jobs—as long as we get the right results. 

With a few calendar design changes and delegation strategies, I helped a senior leader who was considering leaving her industry achieve her first 40-hour week in years—and consistently make time to meditate and work out. 

Own Your Trade-Offs So You Can Enjoy Your Career 

It’s rare, but sometimes there are real trade-offs in your job choice. For example, there might be a significant pay difference between a job that would light you up and one that meets your financial goals. 

Once you’re clear on your desires and your real options, you can make that choice from a place of ownership rather than victimhood. 

It’s never true that you “have to” earn a certain salary or live in a certain place—those are choices based on your values. 

When you tell the story of your choice from a place of empowerment, you experience it differently. You might say, “I’m actively choosing to be in this job for the next 10 years because I want to achieve these financial goals more than I want to use this particular skill right now.” 

Once you fully own your choice—instead of feeling trapped by it—you can be at peace with it. And when you’re at peace with your work, you often rediscover enjoyment, meaning, or even fulfillment in it. 

Your Dream Role Is Closer Than You Think 

Your dream role really is out there. 

The cost of not looking for it is staying stuck in uncertainty, fear, and stagnation. 

Even breaking through the hesitations that keep you stuck—and realizing they aren’t laws of the universe—is energizing in itself. 

Your next role might not be miles away. 

It might just be one creative thought away.

For tools that help you accelerate your next career decision — from networking scripts to promotion trackers — explore the Free Career Growth Resource Hub.

About Maya Sharfi

Maya Sharfi is the founder of Build Yourself and a leading career and executive coach. She empowers women to overcome self-doubt and comparison, grow into leadership roles, and build careers aligned with their values.