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You’re feeling stuck in work AND life: sign #4 that you’re holding yourself back

Work and life are connected.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen someone who was stuck in work and life make a brave choice—like breaking up with a partner who was never right for them—and all of a sudden open up new energy for their work. I’ve also witnessed clients practice a new empowering habit in the workplace, and bring it home with them to improve their relationship.

For our final sign that limiting beliefs have put a stop to your growth, I want to talk about what happens when you feel stuck all around. In work, in life, in everything.

When I hear someone who’s feeling stuck in their career remark how other aspects of life are equally discouraging, it’s piques my coaching spider sense.

These are the kinds of things I’ve heard women say:

“It’s not like I’ll ever be able to afford to have a kid anyway.”

“It’s not like I’ll ever find a job that pays doing that kind of work.”

“It’s not like I’ll ever find a job that lets me have that kind of schedule.”

What stands out to me about these kinds of perceptions is that they’re absolutes. I’ll never be able to afford x. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to y.

When I hear things like this, it’s a sure sign that my client is getting caught up in her own beliefs about what is — or in this case, isn’t — possible. The result? A feeling of “this sucks” that permeates everything in their life.

When we’re feeling stuck, we see closed doors everywhere, even when they’re not there.

When we wholeheartedly believe that we just can’t live the life we imagine, our limiting beliefs transform from quiet fears into a crushing narrative that dominates our perceptions.

And that just won’t do.

A great way to quiet that narrative is to find counter-evidence. One tactic I use is to think of people that have found success without following the expected path. If a client claims that she can’t reach her goals because of financial reasons, we come up with a list of successful practicing artists who don’t have a partner to financially support them or a trust fund.

When we present our limiting beliefs with evidence to the contrary, we can open ourselves back up to new ideas and opportunities.

And the moment those doors open, even if just an inch, we take action. Even if we don’t fully believe we can achieve the thing, we do the steps to get there anyways.

And if we have trouble with that? We circle back to the first sign that I mentioned in this series (feelings of “I’m not ready”) and work from there.

 

Looking to dive deeper into what’s holding you back in your career? Set up an appointment with me here. I’d love to chat.

Hi I'm Mia

Mia Scharphie , career coach, headshot

I’m a career coach and strategist with a secret power (I mean, past career) as a designer. I love road trips, graphic novels and helping people like you design the career you love on your own terms.

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