Give the Gift of Asking for What You Want

I want to give a shout out to one of my clients who asked for what she wanted… instead of wishing and hoping for it.

Asking for what you want (instead of hoping someone will notice us) can be a big challenge for women because we socialize women to be nurturers and caregivers, and to worry about being too pushy or asking for too much.

My client set a goal to get on a local board that would be great for her career and business goals. When she expressed interest in the board she was told, “We need to vote on you and see if you’re a fit.“

So then she did this: She called up three of her business contacts who have some relation to the board and asked if they could call up a board member and recommend her. 

All of them said, “Yes, I’d love to help. I’ll put in a call.”

A few days later she heard back from the board member who said “we’ve gotten great references from you. It should be a simple process from here.“

Congrats to this client… and here’s what we can learn from her:

Give the gift of calling in more favors.

I see so many of my clients hesitate to ask someone to put in the word for them for a job or to make a request. But this is such a shame for the people in our networks who want us to succeed. It’s a lot more work for them to first figure out how to help us (with no guidance) and then do it. Ask for what you want. Give them the gift of letting them know what they can do to support you!

One of the biggest podcasts I ever got on came from asking a friend who’s been on the podcast to recommend me. She was happy to do it! I’d been trying to get on it for months. And then suddenly, my episode was booked!

We spend so much of our lives waiting to be picked, hoping things will work out for us, and playing that passive Cinderella, waiting for someone to put the glass slipper on our foot.

How would it feel to move into a place of taking responsibility and taking action on what you want?

Letting yourself be helped?

Being the gasoline in the tank for the life and career success you want to have?

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    Hi I'm Maya

    Mia Scharphie , career coach, headshot

    I’m a career coach and strategist with a secret power (I mean, past career) as a designer. I love road trips, graphic novels and helping people like you design the career you love on your own terms.