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The Breadwinner and the Breastfeeder

If you're feeling breadwinner burnout, you're not alone

You’re the breadwinner and the breastfeeder.

You shoulder the responsibility of keeping everybody fed and housed, carrying that weight on your shoulders.

And you’re also the one up late at night. You’re the body that just can’t be outsourced.

And it’s hard, but you’re not alone; many of my clients have been there.

It can be a significant challenge to carry the burden of being the primary moneymaker for the household and lead to breadwinner burnout.

You love your work and never wanted to give up your career, but you might find yourself with almost traitorous longings for a time when some women didn’t have to worry about work. They just had one realm—the household—to be fully responsible for.

I know I had these thoughts.

(And then, of course, you feel ashamed for even thinking that, which makes you feel even worse.)

If you’ve ever felt this way, I want you to know that you are not alone.

Having thoughts and feelings like this doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It doesn’t mean that you are betraying all the hard work you put into your career. It doesn’t mean that you won’t go on to have a powerful career and a meaningful family life from here on out.

It also doesn’t mean that you are stuck in a role that doesn’t fulfill you because you just can’t quit when everyone is relying on you.

It just means that this is hard, and you are human.

And you will get through this.

You can find a way to make work feel more right—to avoid that breadwinner burnout.

I’ve seen so many clients do it.

Through it all, you will discover your resilience—finding ways to move forward that serve you and your family.

And you will also learn that you are not alone. You don’t have to shoulder it all and carry the burden alone.

One way of avoiding breadwinner burnout is developing and maintaining healthy boundaries at work. Download my Scripts For Saying No and get my exact language for confidently saying no to requests that don’t align with your priorities.

Hi I'm Maya

Mia Scharphie , career coach, headshot

I’m a career coach and strategist with a secret power (I mean, past career) as a designer. I love road trips, graphic novels and helping people like you design the career you love on your own terms.