Today I’m sharing with you a confidence hack from a woman who recently took my Build Yourself Workshop.
“I hear my inner critic all day – and then I go home to my husband, who is wonderful, but also a harsh critic, commenting on how I continually jump from one thing to the next and how my plans are unrealistic and lack a concrete strategy for execution.
Moreover – and what hurts my confidence the most – he tells me that I do not pay attention to details. Isn’t that what architects are known for? Attention to detail? And what does that say about my career choices?
I recently told him that I need him to be a supporter, not a critic. I told him how I criticize myself everyday and how I constantly struggle to keep my chin up and be confident in a very competitive and critical field. The concept of the ‘inner critic’ was a very useful tool for explaining what I feel without seeming overly sensitive – or as my husband says – unable to accept criticism.
Since completing this exercise, I have noticed a few changes. My husband is still critical (people don’t change overnight), however, he holds back on some of his remarks. More importantly, I have learned how to deal with them. Now, when I hear his comments, I remind myself that – just like the inner critic in my head – not every thought or every comment is rational or grounded in truth. I also remind myself that qualities such as being imaginative and following one’s instincts are what helped to propel the positive steps in both my career and in my personal life.
This realization has also helped me to understand that what others may describe as weaknesses or shortcomings are actually my strengths. My ability to be imaginative and to ‘think big’ may sometimes cause me to overlook the details, but they also lead me to my best ideas.”
This woman did two things: She asked for the support she needed outside to get a better self-dialogue inside. And she also reframed her thinking to see the other side of the coin–her ‘weaknesses’ are actually deeply tied to her strengths. Knowing this means she can seek out roles in which she is working most in alignment with what she does best.
So what do you need to ask for to be the best you?
Want help dealing with your inner critic?
If you feel like that voice in your head holds you back from your best self, just know that you are not alone, and you can actually learn to be more confident and powerful.
I created Defeat Self Doubt just for you. Defeat Self Doubt is a five day audio course made up of daily short audio lessons and mini-assignments that will help you manage your inner critic and put it in its place. Crafted for busy women, course is designed to fit into the life you’re already living.
Get Defeat Self Doubt today and be on your way to your breakthrough.